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This blog is another opportunity to feel grateful. Thank you, dear Universe, you continue to bless me with recovery and health.
Where should I begin the realm of this supernatural dream that made this uncommon theme?
Even if you expand your view, you’ll hardly guess this one.
My dreaming mind encountered my closest fear and came face to face with my Rare Disease.
Yes, you heard this right!
I dreamt of my uniqueness of being rare which symbolizes my waking day-to-day life… you got the picture right. As I approach my birthday month just thought of breaking the monotony from some serious writing. I wish to share an unfathomable experience that soaked me to the bone.
By now readers following my blogs would know that I was diagnosed with a rare disease called Isaacs’ Syndrome. Isaacs’ is a neuromuscular health condition that stems from muscle hyperactivity. In the process, I also discovered that I had Lyme disease. Lyme is a bacterial illness that gets transmitted through ticks. Glaucoma also accompanied me. Glaucoma is an eye-related disease that damages the optic nerves. And Membranous Glomerulonephritis is a progressive kidney disease. I faced tremendous issues with my gut, stomach acid, and digestive enzymes. I also developed Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS), Diabetes, and Blood Pressure.
Generally, sleep is a natural process that allows our body and mind to restore, and rest. But that night was a restless nightmare for me. Since that day I have paid extra attention to what’s going on in my waking life.
The Unusual Dream
Typically, cold months aren’t considered pleasant for many neurological disorders.
My symptoms tend to get from bad to worse during the winter season. It was those cloudy nights accompanied by a staunch scent of dampness that froze all my spirits to sleep.
Busy snoozing away, suddenly I heard an unknown terrifying voice. The staunch voice yelled at me from the dark and I saw myself standing possessed.
All I could see was a leafless tree entangled with overgrown weeds and a flock of diving vultures. The entire neighborhood looked familiar yet quite unscientific. It smelled of death and was deserted except for a scared, skinny dog.
Every part of me froze while my brain was flooded with a thousand unpleasant thoughts at the same time.
I wondered if it was a mischievous boogeyman? or a wandering soul. or somebody familiar who passed away with an unresolved issue?
The situation was quite claustrophobic and lonely, with two eyes staring at all my moves.
By now the mysterious, high-frequency pitch settled over the place and the silence had all my attention.
Suddenly, from the shadows, something started to crawl towards me. Although I tried stepping back but it only took me steps closer to the nightmare.
With almost no sense of emotion whatsoever, he said, ”The way you feel in your body and mind is the consequence of my presence”. The long-awaited missing piece stunned me when he mentioned that he is my ‘Rare disease’.
The way this extrinsic stimulus unfolded evoked a deep-fearing response in me. The presence of this stressful disease had made me vulnerable to health complications. It weakened my body’s internal systems, and organs, not letting me heal despite all the care and medicines.
At that moment I felt as if my mind had been destroyed. I felt his arms tightening over me and my ribs splintering.
The aura of time and space mocked holy spirits with an eye-to-eye sense of paranormal enthusiasm. It was just unbelievable that I was face-to-face with the biggest fear of my life. My memories flashed of how this disease had changed me as a person forever.
Sometimes your biggest weakness becomes your biggest strength. Sometimes enough is enough.
Not sure how that moment broke free to inject courage in me. Instead of a war, I offered him a cup of coffee.
Really!! But what was I thinking?
This might be because I thought my brain receptors would be caffeine-alert and not helplessly surrender to him. Or we had our coffee space, the whole way till the show was over.
What if he said yes or no? As if I cared.
Suddenly, I bombarded him with questions like a curious kid, who wanted answers to all the unanswered:
Q-1) Are you an extraterrestrial being, a cult of human sins, or a supervillain?
Q-2) Do you plan to settle with me forever?
Q-3) Do you have any messages that I’m unable to decode?
Q-4) What would it take to resolve this conflict between us and set me free?
‘’Enough, hold your curiosity and listen’’, he said.
I was shocked when I noticed that certain things about him were completely human.
He briefly narrated how his ancestors visited planet Earth and deepened their roots. He mentioned how over generations their shelf-life had increased and how the human genetic code got prone and tempted to move away from Mother Nature.
He mentioned that ‘Wellness’ and Diseases’ are brothers of the same mother.
The key difference is that one grants health, and the other one is misery. He criticized how humans forget to live healthily. They don’t maintain conscious eating habits, refrain from exercise, have unhealthy addictions, and lead a stressful life.
He narrated and asked me to contemplate a story that I had come across on YouTube that morning.
It’s about an Elephant called Mr. Ignorant. He was huge and powerful in his appearance yet was held by a small rope tied to his foot. Mr. Ignorant couldn’t break free from the small rope though not confined to any chain or cage. Do you know why?’’
I was so dumbstruck that I nodded pretending not to know.
‘’Because Mr. Ignorant made no attempts to get away’’.
‘’Such is your belief. You intermingle with your surroundings in a way that makes it impossible to break free from the complexities of habitual conditioning.
‘’Boy don’t get entangled in the world you have been shown by your circumstances instead push your limits further. Just believe that You Can, and half your battle is won’’.
These words coming from him were no joke. For a moment the anger dissolved, and my heart melted.
Before I could react, my alarm clock rang, and it was all over.
Though I would eagerly wait for another such dream where he shows up to finish the unfinished business. Until then there’s a lot to ponder upon from the sensations and messages he left behind. The episode hounded me for days and still gives me goosebumps and butterflies.
In my experience, he had wits beyond measure. Considering the COVID-19 situation it wouldn’t be wrong to say that their territories are strong. The more we get hungry for the wrong the more we shall find diseases like him closer.
After this dream, my life underwent a personal transformation.
I learned that though my street looks crowded with inevitable struggles however I won’t get anywhere except further belittle my recovery if I continue down the shaming-blaming catastrophizing path. I became easier on myself.
I liked what George Bernard Shaw (Irish playwright and political activist) once said –“You see things; and you say, ‘Why?’ But I dream things that never were, and I say, ‘Why not?’’.
Have YOU ever been jump-scare or horrified, by the fundamental triumph of goodness? If yes, what was your experience?
DISCLAIMER
The views expressed above in this article are the author’s own and do not represent any kind of medical advice.
