A Bizarre Dream: an Encounter with my Rare Disease

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This blog is another opportunity to feel grateful and thank you dear Universe: You continue to bless me with recovery and overall health.  

Typically, cold months aren’t considered pleasant for my neurological disorder, Isaacs’ Syndrome (a neuromuscular condition stemming from muscle hyperactivity). The symptoms tend to get severe during winters and to top it up, it was those cloudy nights in 2017 accompanied by a staunch scent of dampness that froze all my spirits to sleep. I was busy snoozing away when an unknown terrifying voice yelled my name from the dark. The voice came from a leafless tree entangled with overgrown weeds and vultures diving. I saw myself standing possessed with every part of me freezing while my brain flooded with unpleasant thoughts. The entire neighborhood looked familiar yet quite unscientific, smelled of death, and was deserted with an exception of a scared, skinny dog. The situation felt quite claustrophobic and lonely, with two eyes staring at all my moves.

The silence of the place had all my attention.

The source of the voice was well versed with all my actions and roared with this raucous toned voice that had no sense of emotion whatsoever ”I’m engraved in your thoughts and the way you feel every moment is the consequence of my presence”. I’m the ‘Rare disease’ you suffer with”.

Oops!! Really!!

I was hyperventilated by the razor-shaped voice of the ghost who was hungry for attention and was imprisoned in my thoughts. Though the aura of time and space seemed mocking holy spirits with an eye-to-eye sense of paranormal enthusiasm around, however, not sure how the moment broke free to inject courage in me. Though I wanted to go on a war with him yet of all things in the world, I offered him a cup of coffee thinking the A1 receptors in my brain would keep me caffeine alert and not let me helplessly surrender. Though the episode was an unexpected encounter, yet the memories flashed of how this disease had changed me as a person forever.

What if he said yes? As if I cared. Ultimately it was a dream!!

Not waiting for what he had to say, I bombarded him with questions like a curious kid, wanted answers to all the unanswered:

Q-1) Are you an extraterrestrial being, a cult of human sins, or a supervillain?

Q-2) Do you plan to settle with me forever?

Q-3) Do you have any messages that I’m unable to decode?

Q-4) What would it take to resolve this conflict between us and set me free?

‘’Enough, hold your curiosity and listen’’, he said.

He briefly narrated how his ancestors visited planet earth and deepened their roots; generation after generation with an incremental shelf-life as our genetic codes gradually got prone and tempted to move away from Mother Nature. He called his blood-brother ‘Wellness’ with a major difference in portfolio responsibility. One grant human the health bandwidth for being careful and the other one misery for being careless. He criticized how we forgot to keep up a healthy lifestyle, and conscious eating habits, lacked physical & mental exercises, had various addictions, and most importantly a stressful life.

He added ‘’to further answer your questions, listen to this story and contemplate.

It’s about an Elephant called Mr. Ignorant. He was huge and powerful in his appearance yet was held by a small rope tied to his foot. Mr. Ignorant couldn’t break free from the small rope though not confined to any chain or cage. Do you know why?’’

To my utter surprise, I came across the same story on YouTube that morning. I was so dumbstruck that I nodded pretending not to know.

‘’Because Mr. Ignorant made no attempts to get away’’.

‘’And such is your belief system that’s associated with your surroundings and denies to break-free from the complexities of habitual conditioning. The complexities of your minds are such that even the strongest gets entangled with his psyche and binds into limits. Throw them in the fire and make sincere and constant efforts to overcome your failures and to achieve the desired results’’.

‘’Boy, don’t get entangled in the world you have been shown by your circumstances instead push your limits further. Just believe that You Can, and half your battle is won’’. These words coming from him were no joke. For a moment the anger dissolved, and my heart melted.

Before I could react, my alarm clock rang, and it was all over. Though I would eagerly wait for another such dream where he shows up to finish the unfinished business until then there’s a lot to ponder upon from the sensations and messages he left behind. The episode hounded me for days and still gives me goosebumps and butterflies.

In my experience he had wits beyond measure and considering the Covid 19 situation it wouldn’t be wrong to say that their territories are strong and the more we get hungry for the wrong the more we shall find him close. I don’t have those ah-ha moments anymore, but I learned that though my street looks crowded with inevitable struggles however I won’t get anywhere except further belittle my recovery if I continue down the shaming-blaming catastrophizing path. Therefore, I stop thinking about him as Where our attention goes, our energy flows. I became easier on myself.

If God has empowered us with some of his characters, then let’s not let the pursuer gain over us. I liked what George Bernard Shaw (Irish playwright and political activist) once said –“You see things; and you say, ‘why?’ But I dream things that never were; and I say, ‘Why not?’’.

Have YOU ever been jump-scare or horrified, by the fundamental triumph of goodness? If yes, what was your experience?

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